A few days back, I stumbled upon wedding photos of a poly classmate I was close with. Everyday, she would pour out her sorrows to me. We stayed near each other, and would occasionally travel to school together if our timetables were the same. I tolerated her mood swings, and listened to her woes and guy troubles, and she lived life happier, (or so I hope).
But, life does that to you. You get close to people during certain phases of your life, but once someone loses the slack, a friendship can't thrive. Beating eggs alone won't make a cake. You need a slow heat, and other ingredients to add taste and color and variety.
I remember dutifully messaging each of my secondary four classmates for one to two years after graduation from secondary school. Slowly, their replies got shorter. Slowly, I lost the fire.
There are around twenty people I used to faithfully send christmas cards at the end of each year. These are friends whom I've kept their addresses and keep them in a special container in a locker. Last year, I asked myself 'what was the point?'
Indeed, it gets tiring. For the twenty handwritten cards I sent out, only two would respond back with a card. After eight years or so, it just drains out.
Sure, these people mean a lot to me, and I bet if questioned, these people could share a tale or two bout my impact on their life, but life is like that. Over time, we just drift away from each other.
But, there are some that I still keep in contact for these eight or more years. Is there a difference? Is there a secret formula for a lifelong friendship?
I clicked along well with everyone, but I never had my own clique in secondary school, or in polytechnic. From an angle, I was doomed from the start. It then leads me to think, 'do I enter a friendship just for my benefit?'
We've all had (or still have) that one person that we turn to when trouble rears its ugly head, when thunder brews a lightning storm, when our fingers grip the edge of the cliff. Is it for just my benefit or a mutual one?
People form friendships for an assortment of reasons. Work contacts, social status, money, selfish ambition, sense of belonging, self fulfillment. What is your reason?
Cause I believe the reason for the friendship determines its life expectancy.
At the end of the day, I live so that others might live. Through listening, assisting, helping, enriching, emboldening, uplifting. Not by my might but His.
