this is weird.. there's been a flurry of visitors to my blog these few days.. it's like.. i've only disclosed the identity of this blog to a few people.. and suddenly the whole world knows it.. but.. i guess we can't know the whole world without part of the world knowing us.. but yet.. i guess the thought of people, perhaps, wondering who the 'she' is in my entry, is disconcerting.. i guess.. it's best for me not to name much names then.. and.. weirdly.. nobody has commented on my posts.. yet.. and.. it's been like living secondary school again. where girls that i'm seen occasionally with, are matchmaked with.. yet.. the surroundings are different.. the gossip too i guess.. a flaw of society.. a weakness in men.. that feeling of self-consciousness.. and observational quietness.. ah.. the wonders and beauty of life.

oOo lala

ah! seeing the one you loveth being hurt
trying to make the one that's hurt be loved
oh, to feel your head resting on my shoulder again
the warmth of the touch of your hand

yet, i know you just treat me as a friend
and we have yet to reach that stage where
we open up to each other
we have yet to reach that stage
where we depend on one another

i know the feelings that i have for you
know the type of feelings i've grown for you
yet, i wonder do i really know you

death

no respecter of time
follower of life
harsh and destructive
calm and loving
the many faces of demise

sudden and slow
mysterious and visible
shining and dull
.

death is the end of life but not the end of relationships my friend once said
indeed it's true
yet not completely true
for people live different lives
and death is
the end to some lives
and the beginning of others

death makes us more aware of intangible things
more observant of our surroundings
death makes us more keen and able to forgive and seek forgiveness
less strict about collecting debts or chasing debtors
death is an acquaintance of fear yet a guardian of love
a friend of worry yet a father of life
for what is giveth may be taken away

my class...

Like a brick wall, my class is.
Stable and strong, united together
Yet each brick can be singled out
cracks, chips, paint fading off
some bricks will stay together
despite years of weariness
some bricks will fall apart
due to time and rustiness
corrosion will occur
trouble misunderstandings and fear
pride ambition
stubborness, competition
yet a brick wall we are,
plain and common but strong and firm
and that we will remain for the next few months.

love.. how confusing thou are

oh friendship why are thee formed from love?
If only thee and love could be separated
by a thin straight line
oh love why does thee troubleth me
my name is confused.. why does thou act liketh this..

my mind sayeth no.. yet my heart totally agreeth..
to love or not to love..
yet the question is not that

but.. to venture on.. in this love-filled quest
on.. to back down.. and let time overtake me..
on this race.. this neverending.. track.. where the end cannot be seen
neither with machines nor with the naked eye

is this possible can this be
that i indeed have love for thee
and yet is it even possible, at all
that thou has love for me.. or more..

half empty bottle of water.. is the same as half full bottle of water

hMm.. how did she know... about me and her.. puzzling and weird this is.. this opens a can of worms.. squiggly and runny that are hard to squash.. is there a heavily-disguised chance to crush this can once and for all.. or will the worms attack one by one.. and be the source of misery in my life..

oOo.. love is in the my air..

alas! the tentacles of love has ensnared me.
trapping my thoughts, creating confusion within my heart
blinding me, troubling my senses
making me a mockery it's simply torturing me

easy for me to say i love you
hard for me to hear you say you love me
but do i want to hear that
can i assure myself that my feelings for you wont fade after a day or two

indeed i've always loved unreciprocated love
yet when a chance like this comes
should i seize it and take the risk
and let it go and suffer and have no peace
for the rest of my life
living with deep regrets
unfulfilled dreams and broken promises..

oOo.. my class..

like a star in a perfect square, that's what my class would be best represented by.
star cause there are more than one points.
each point a clique.
each point of a star sharp.
sharpness penetrating through fragile hearts and sensitive feelings.

love. the outside. inside. conflict. feelings. passion. hatred. discernment needed. innocence. darkness in her eyes. laughter contagious. and the list goes on and on..

i'm trying to resist, to stay focused to the main objective of my blog. to simply make it more convenient for me to view my friends blog. but. it's hard. the Spirit is willing but the body is weak. to display my thoughts my emotions my observations.

i. must. resist.

cheerio!

oOoOo.. so this is a blog...

ok.. so this skin really does suck.. oh my.. i'm using the word skin.. can't believe i'm actually picking up blog jargon.. unbelieeeevable.. anyway.. yah.. probably try to change this skin.. if possible.. finally figured out my links thingy.. seems like the previous template that i use.. couldn't see my links at all... but when change to other templates.. it's visible.. so.. that's why i change template.. and probably going to change it again.. this skin very bright.. not that I'm on the dark side or something (lame, I know).. but.. ai yah.. just don't like this skin la.. but.. bo pian la.. oh gosh.. my blog's kana mixed with singlish liao.. and hokkien too.. alamak..

my first entry... yipee!

haha. it's so hard to believe.. i just jumped onto the band wagon.. writing my own blog.. but.. the thing is.. the purpose of this blog is not really to write my thoughts and stuff.. but more of to link to my friends blogs so that it would be easier for me to access their blog and get updated about their lives. Which does make me wonder about the purpose of a blog. Nobody really writes 'dear diary...' in their blog do they? yet, much privacy, a blog has not.

Some people say a blog is for you to express your feelings. But that's absurd. What will you type if you're attached and in love?

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.


Ain't that what lovey-dovey people would write? Cause it's what they're feeling. ma.

Anyway, back to the point, what is a blog? really? it helps you make friends, that i agree. but it also creates a false impression of the blogger ya know. A person who constantly types perfect (actually, is there such a thing as perfect?) english on his/her blog may be a wonderful speaker of singlish.

For me, i think.. my blog.. would just be crap. more crap. and even more crap. After all, comments about other people might get me under fire and yet, I can't just have an empty blog cause that defeats the purpose of a blog. But, whatever. Hopefully, I can figure out how this link thingy works.