ahhhh.. so hot. the girl.s.

Well, started my first show today. I'm working as an usher, btw. At an erRr prestigious arts centre in SG. lol you may be wondering why I aint saying the name of the centre i work for, simply because it has a certain code that restricts employees from lamblasting it on blogs. so. [shrugs] oh well.
It was kindof fun, my first show. I arrived there about fifteen mins before the reporting time and was eRr kindof shy. haha dont laugh k haha but well the other ushers are all 'un-virgins' so they know each other quite well le.
I was assigned ticket tripping. Not easy. But today wasn't that bad, simply cause it's the last Cabaret show so nobody will turn up with the ticket for the wrong date. (it happens more often than you think)The good thing about ticket tripping is its quite slack but the bad thing is I can't see the show. But I've got much more worth than the show cost. lol. I've got eye candies!
haha you wont believe the gorgeousness (is there such a word) and the beauty of some of the female patrons that went for the show. LOL. They were like so so so hot. ok not hot as in steamy not like the m1 kind of ad but they were the cleopatra-kind of hot. And lest you think i've fallen for some 30 yr old aunty you are so wrong. the girls were like in my age grp lor. 18 to 25 me thinks. and there was this guy who was like around my age with three of the babes. oh man. he must be a ladies man of sorts.
Now if every event has these kind of patrons, I dont mind working 24/7. Surprisingly, the SG babes oozed more sex appeal than the foreign babes. Yup, there were foreigners. Russians or British I think. Or both.
oh well. all in all it aint that bad despite being stationed with three other ladies who are like 2.5 times my age, and the fact that my feet are aching, (we cant sit). After all, I've earned fourty bucks. and my eyes have been satisfied. lol. sheesh. one never hears of any romance between an usher and a guest eh? then again, anything's possible.
Till next time, my love, tata!

oh my heart how still they lie to me

oh how still thee lie
silent yet aloud
no sign of fear
no sign of trouble
no sign of dishonest act
yet thy lie.

i thought i got over
lied to myself
no
my heart lied to me
saying she was but a memory

but she survives!

the winds howl
the waves crash
the boats swirl uncontrollably
and the crew scream in horror
like un-men, they shriek at the top of their voices
like men they die
in fear
in cowardice

as all

with all

like all

I cant forget you.

so. ppl and ppl. no ppl w/o ppl.

you know what i think. I think a lone person cnt survive by himself/herself for a long period of time. why? cause ppl fascnate ppl and no ppl can survive without no ppl. Think about it. what interests you the most? sure, you may list a hobby or some recreational activity but at the end of the day, you wlll realise that what fascinates you the most is people. humans.

I've been thinking quite a bit recently after one of my tutor remarked that I just need to grow up. And in a way it's kind of true, after all adults rarely talk about trust and all now do they? And i wonder why.

Does maturity mean that asking about trust or acquiring of a friendship status is non-acceptable? or that it's simply too blunt and such 'stuff' should be done with tact or subtlely?

after all, if we tell someone 'eee dont friend you' it's kind of considered sortof childish aint it? then how do adults do it?

While it has been a pleasure knowing you and no doubt both parties have experienced several lecels of satisfaction, we can not help but disagree to agree that it would be best for both of us to go our separate ways and cease to exist as two closely bonded humans but as mere individuals, untouched and unconnected with the other.

So drama. sounds like some tv drama relationship break-off script. at first sight.
Why dont adults treat the same respect and love as teenagers and kids?
Maybe that's the reason they get backstabbed. After all, u sae I nord ur fwen den u saed 'mai fend ow cud u baqstab me' why you so like dat wan.

Sometimes the innocence and simplicity of childhood astounds us and we wonder "tell me why we need to grow up again?"

after all, things change when we get older. old foundations are blown up. new walls erected. trenches dug. flags raised.

we love and hurt and love and like and hurt and love and befriend and hurt and love and when we think we found it all, the essence of what life is, we hurt by our own hurts and perhaps by the hurt we caused the hurt we thought was love and therefore we never stop loving to get hurt and hurting to be loved.

Comprendo? capire?

hMM how I used to fall aslp last time

Hey there! Guess what?! I've finally discovered how to preset the font face and size for my blog posts. Which means blog posts from now will never be the same again!

hMm I've been really thinking whether I really want an audio career. After all, reflecting upon today, audio's quite fair to me. I did a successful V.O. and failed at another. Sometimes visualising, or maybe it should be 'hearing' what your ideal product or radio commercial will be doesn't really help much because you have to factor in volume, depth, tempo and blah blah blah. and I kind of wonder, the warmer the room, the wider the range of the V.O., yet the Audio Editing Suites in school are super duper cold. Perhaps one of the reasons why my V.O. today sucked badly.

Yet, deep down inside, I know I really want an audio career. I remember when I was younger, around ten-ish, I pretended to be a deejay and talked myself to sleep. literally (no pun intended).

Back then, I used to listen to 105.5 FM every now and then and there were nights where I just could not sleep. So i pretended my bolster was a mic and just talked to the wall. I would play a CD on my Stereo Sound System and pretend I was introducing the tracks, the way the DJ introduced it on 105.5 FM.

So, well I guess Audio's the way for me. Now, it's just about which path to choose.

It's kinda weird trying to help a younger kid cause ya've been thru what se's been thru but its hard for u to tell her tt she'll get out of it alive and blah blah blah cause well, its beyond your grasp. It's kinda like watching the butterfly forcing its way out of its cocoon. You feel moved by its courage and perseverance and just want to lessen its suffering but if it doesn't force its way out of the cocoon by its own strength, it won't succeed in life. There's a certain level of helplessness knowing you cant do anything but knowing you should do something.

Yet another blogskin.

yet another blogskin. actually it ain't really a blogskin. it's just rearranging stuff around and importing two photos. which does bring up the question of what a blogskin is.

been kind of busy these few days. projects and all but well, there's a good outcome.

I've been considering an audio-related career. VO perhaps? but then again maybe that'll be a part-time job to earn cash while doing my regular work. After all, VOs dont pass by everyday.

Pardon me for not explaining what VO is.
VO stands for Voice Over. From radio commercials to the voices that you hear sprouting torturing questions for Listening Comprehension examinations to TV Commercials to basically everything audio and media. Even voices on CD-roms are considered Voice Overs.

Of course I aint quite sure what the proper title is. Voice Over Specialist? Voice Over Person? (shrugs)

Anyway, i'm 88% sure of an audio career. It's just a matter of what and where and how. Well, I dare say there's a huge market of audio needs, wants and demands, the risk is kindof high. Imagine having a cold or a sore throat and you wont earn a single penny. Or cent in Singapore context.

I still have lots to work on, namely nasality. What's that, i hear you ask.
It's the air that escapes from your nose when you speak. Try putting a finger under your nose and talk or humm. Feel slightly warm air coming out from your nose? Means ya have nasality.

Why nasality is bad? Nasality makes you sound really whiney and high-pitched.

So well, wish me all the best in my strive for audio excellence eh. Gotta get a grip on vocal tempo and clarity of speech.

I may upload some of the VO I do though. lol. Till next time, take care amigos!

new skin!

yay! after 2 hours, i finally got my new skin up. blogskin i mean la.
actually snatched this blogskin from one of my juniors and then changed like almost half of it; from the links to the placements to other stuff; personalising it.

I'm getting kindof sian of html for the moment. but soon. i'll tinkle around with it again to change the color or maybe insert a background image bah.

Well school is getting more fun.. 90% of my individual assignments have been handed up le. Only have MultiCam, Sociology Journal and Jap Test left. and group project for every subject. except apel and entrepreneurship la. of course.

Oh well. Till next time, (fingers crossed - hopefully I'll win the Opel car tomorrow. zZz ni has a macbook!!!! sheesh. i want one!) take care, God bless and have a blessed weekend!

the knowledge of something unknown

what if you knew something you didn't know before
something that was related to you
something that you never know you have
something bad

what if that something was threatening relationships
burning friendships destroying kinships
what if you never knew you had that something
and all along you never tried to be that something

what if this something is common in most man
but hard to change hard to get rid of
and there's no sure-win way of removing it

what if something came from behind
tripped you
stripped you
and places a knife to your heart
each beat becomes amplified
each breath savoured
cause there's no way of knowing
direction of the wind turning
there's no way of seeing
who's behind in front your left or your right
unsure of trust and who you trust
unsure of understand and who understands you
unsure of pain and who pains you

Yet God is in control and believe that I must!

amen.

P.C. Day 8

So today's Day 8 now. my stats dont seem to be increasing nor decreasing. well, the good thing is I thanked a bus dirver yesterday for stalling the bus for me and HE NODDED in response. Well, and all along, I thought bus drivers were people engineered to ensure that every EZ Link Card that passes them has been tapped. Guess they are human after all!

Well, other than that, there's nothing else im afraid. The project ain't successful.

Projects are like due around the corner and coming at great speed. But, it's quite ok la. i kinda miss my friends. But I must trudge on. To paradise.

P.C. 6/7

So P.C.'s day 6/7 and I have yet to greet any unknown friend. In a way, I think when day 10 comes, I'll just scrap this p.c. cause its freakin hard to achieve and sometimes i live to look for people i can greet instead of living normally. sounds kinda cliche doesnt it.

Anywya, you know what's the best thing about an ex? the foundation of trust has already been established so while it may have crumbled a little, it is easier to repair a wall than to build one.

Well, today wasnt that bad. I slept quite a lot but I did some work too, like reading through BMR Lit Review and touching a bit on Jap group drama and Audio group proj 1.

PC. Day 4

So it's day 4. My number of greetings and thank you-s are slowly increasing. Seriously, I am considering increasing the time frame of my 'experiment'. Maybe I'll change it from ten days to a month.

The only thing lacking right now, in my opinion, is greeting bus drivers. We tend to belittle the thought but it can actually be tough. You realise after awhile that bus drivers rarely, if not never, look at you in the eye when you're with them. Their eyes are either on the side mirror, their finger ready to press the button to close the doors, or their head angled to the left, their eyes glazing at some unknown area, their ears inclined towards the EZ-Link Card readers, listening attentively for the beeps and toots.

So, well, today I've said one greeting and thanked one person. And allowed someone to go first who thanked me. Ain't sure that falls under what category la.

I greeted the cleaner at my sch canteen when I went there for my morning ritual in the morning. Bleddy rain, make me so cold in the bus! Anyway, she greeted me back with a wide smile, showing me the number of teeth she has lost! Hee. Nevertheless, it's a smile.

Suck it. my number of messages was slight above 2000 for last month. [curses under one's breath] Well, I expected it to exceed but not that much! So sheeeeeet man. I've so gotta cut down. or my dad'll have my throat.

P.C. Day 3

yes! Finally! Hee. I'm kinda happy. Cause I've greeted someone in the lift. This lady that I've seen before in my block but never said hi. my mum chats with her though. Honestly speaking, my mum is super duper friendly, sometimes too friendly.

So that's one for the greetings.

And. I think Im growing old cause I can remember the number of times I've thanked somebody but not remember to whom I've said it. STM.

P.C. Day 2

So it has come to Day 2 of P.C. and gosh am i ashamed of myself.

Wasn't a courteous person at all. I mean, I only said Thank You once to a non-friend. Kind of pathetic.

Worst part was I actually had a few opportunities to greet the bus driver but I didn't! (curses under one's breath)

I am seriously considering setting the 100-man target to be reached by the end of the month instead of days. Seriously.

Ain't life sad.
We live day by day.
Not knowing about tomorrow
Not knowing that your best friend today
will be gone
vanished, poof, out of your life
tomorrow

Ain't life grand
the person you once knew
pops into your life
pops into your life and says hi
pops into your life and says hi and decides to stay
till tomorrow

And then life goes blam!
the person you know
you thought you knew
you knew now you dont quite know
leaves ur life
in a rush, in a hurry
as if chasing something lasagne maybe

well what can i say
you've stripped me apart
buildings crumbled
walls destroyed
even the vase is broken
the cord cut off

what you want me to do?
live life in the buff
where every hair is counted, mocked then yanked off?

show me the meaning. of being lonely. of being somebody. of being. you.

P.C. Day 1

So today is P.C. Day 1. Maybe you're expecting me to hold my head up high and say that I've met my daily quota of ten unknown people I'll greet.

I regret to say I didn't greet a single person today. That's not saying that I'm unfriendly or reclusive cause I do greet my friends but greetings friends ain't part of my personal project.

I woke up with huge expectancy, full of confidence that I'll meet my quota but at the end of the day, I'm shaken and humbled by my own actions.

I jauntily skipped out of the house, notebook and pen in my pocket, hoping to meet someone in the lift that I could wish good morning, ready to jot down happy stuff. The lift arrived vacant.

Not to be discouraged, I walked to the bus-stop with a beam on my face, as if telling the world "come! I ain't gonna frown, not just yet!"

I mentally steered myself to wish the bus driver good morning. Unfortunately, the bus was packed and upon seeing the uncle's stern, unsmiling, disgruntled face, I swallowed my words. Literally. My mouth automatically zipped closed, the smile blown away.

I think i'm gonna add another column in the counter. How many times I said Thank You because I think too many times we say Thank You without really meaning it. But from now on, I'm gonna mean it!

I can't help but shudder when i wonder how people can live everyday life without greeting someone. The mental preparation of greeting someone gives me an adrenaline and endophins-rush. honest! You try it!


Day 1: Failure!