Cool Dude

11 Year Old Boy Plays Pirates Of The Caribbean - Funny videos are here

The.

The passing of time
and death draws nigh
Life lingers on
Just a breath away.

The speed it moves
Quickened by the heart
And slowed by the spirit.

The gaze upon events
the palpitations of repulses.

The life that draweth near.

Sungha Jung

This Sungha Jung dude is totally amazing. I'm only gonna post a few videos here but you should check out his other videos on youtube. Like seriously. Who ever says that kids nowadays only know how to facebook and make out in school uniforms and get featured on Stomp should watch it. He's totally totally cool.

Which grade?

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her
students. The teacher asked, 'Harry, what's your problem?'

Harry answered,
'I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!'

Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.

While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was.. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave.. She agreed.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and
he agreed to take the test.


Principal: 'What is 3 x 3?'

Harry:
'9.'

Principal: 'What is 6 x 6?'

Harry:
'36.'

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.

The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her,
'I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade.'


Ms. Brooks says to the principal, 'Let me ask him some questions.'

The principal and Harry both agreed.


Ms. Brooks asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?'

Harry, after a moment: 'Legs.'


Ms Brooks: 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'


The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!

Harry replied: 'Pockets.'


Ms. Brooks: 'What does a dog do that a man steps into?'


Harry:
'Pants.'


Ms. Brooks: What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?'

Harry:
'Coconut.'


The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.

Ms. Brooks:
'What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?'

The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer,
Harry replied, 'Bubble gum.'

Ms. Brooks: 'What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?'


Harry: 'Shake hands.'

The principal was trembling.

Ms. Brooks: 'What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?'

Harry:
'Firetruck.'


The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher,
'Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong.....'

Powerful nose. Sensitive smell.

Sometimes you can't help but wonder whether people bathe in body and hair sprays.

A girl sat next to me on the bus. And overpowered me. I guess in this society, it's not so much of who has more muscles or more land, but more of who has the strongest smell. I wonder who would win. That girl or a guy after exercising.

Sensitive nose. Powerful Smell. If only it was the other way round.

And so.

And so I overheard this middle aged dude saying: "You cannot blames me, I'm only good in grammar one. That's all I'm good at."

eye brow with my little eye.

Saw this on my friend's blog. Rather eyebrow raising. =X

Not good at all.

And there was this slight pang of jealousy I felt
when I saw you on sunday.
And his arm around you.
And it brought back memories.

Not good at all.

Tech Support Joke

Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Golf 7.5, Barhopping 6.9 & Racing 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

Thanks, A Troubled User.
______________________________________
REPLY: Dear Troubled User:
This is a very common problem that men complain about. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support- Homeless. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate additional software augmentation. The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE, because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2. The downside is that it also comes with a sub-program called Spend It 12.9 that can not be deleted. Watch this program VERY carefully, or you will have to refer to your manual again under2nd Job - Mobile Home - Collecting Cans. Be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program NagNag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. Recommend Flowers 2.1, Vacations 8.4 and Diamonds 5.0 WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3 or Babysitter 17.0 These applications are not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system and your personal hard drive.

Best of luck, Tech Support

you in the cab.

My cab and your car
side to side
And our eyes meet.
Some say first impressions matter
And perhaps it does.
Since our quick game of flirting begins.

My cab gets ahead
And I subtly angle my head
to catch you in my peripheral vision
You receive this unseen invitation
And accept. With a glint of delight.

And our little game begins.
A surreptitious look. Then glance away.
Me then you then me.
Then I see you see me see you.
And you glance away.
Your two ponytails gave you away.

Even if we bump onto the streets
we won't recognise each other.
And so for this brief moment
we are friendly strangers.

Looks and glances
Towards and away
Winks and smiles
Meaningful emotions.

And then the traffic lights go against you
And I can only gaze in loneliness
as your car surges forward.
And as I hopelessly crane my head
Hoping to catch a final glimpse of you
To perhaps say goodbye.

Thus, hope is lost.

confusion.

Suddenly a bus ride doesn't seem so light
With the baggage it brings forth
The quick runs down memory lane
That leave you breathless
And wanting to stop and escape
But the road doesn't seem to end
An ever winding lane.

Like the unrelenting
pour of the rain
Yet it's only as gentle
or as harsh
as the weak mind wills it to be.

The ant scurrying along the forest floor
Busy storing up its stores
Gathering what it can find and what can be eaten
As I lay myself down and enjoy
The luscious greens of spice and life
And the constant chirping of the birds
That never sounds the same
That never irritates
And the unsettling of the leaves
As a breeze comes my way
Soothing me to sleep.

bittersweet

I choke down the depression
As the bile rises
Past the melting point
And the flame rages on inward

Like an alien in a strange land
Like a tree in the jungle
Like an ant in a pile of leaves

And so the game begins
The hunter hunting the hunted
Hunting the hunting

Then a day comes and
the knife strikes close to the heart
Blood pumps out.

The bittersweet taste.

shattered

And so the feelings come a surging; the quickening of the heart. And, I wonder have I gotten over you; the heart says no but the mind says yes.

It takes an act of love to feel the pain of love.

It takes an act of love to feel the pain of love to feel love.

There are nights where the dam fails and the memories flood my mind. Sometimes the flow isn't that heavy, and the dam can be reconstructed. At other times, the mind gets overwhelmed and the heart weakened.

Why do you still have such a stronghold on me.

Tonight's a night.

Shattered.

Beauty of black.

I attended a friend's 21st birthday party a few hours ago. Who knew black could be such a beauty? It accentuates curves and hides what some are ashamed of. It complements complexions and serves as a veil for blemishes.

Maybe I should have my 21st a kopitiam. And have a free flow of kopi, teh and jia jia liang teh. With chee cheong fan and lor mai kai.

Nah, no need to think so far. Perhaps I'll have a very very quiet one.

For now, it's just about the beauty of black. :)

Twas nice to see you

Met an old friend today. Well, a sis of mine. We go back like around 7 years already. And then it kinda hits me like "woah, so long ago?!" but time is like that. As quick as life is like that.

And so the memories flood back, like a hole in the dam, and the pressure wells up, and "boom!" the dam explodes to become a "damn!"

But there are memories that are good and some that are bad. Some that I regret.
Some that hurts, sharper than a blade of grass.
Others hurt like a shard of glass.

But ours wasn't that bad. It was quite refreshing to see the sparkle in your eyes.
A joy few possess. Not that I'm saying we had anything on between us, yet there was this closeness, this tight bond, the first

*takes a sip of Hoegarden*

of twin events to happen. You know life has its numerous ironies, and she was the first irony. To be close yet distant. But that's how one learns. To protect what's close to one's heart. And not to regret. Aye, nay a shred of regret.

Twas a shame tides pushed us two logs away from each other, currents setting us adrift on our own separate ways. It would have been a breeze to just ebb and flow with you just a little bit longer. But neither of us control the tide nor the setting of the sun, and so I pray that for that brief respite, where we gently bumped and emotionally clung, that I was of aid to you, and provided solace.

Cheers dee.

U.O.

Three men working together, with only one day to know each other
And to think alike
Yet clicking nearly instantly.

Effective communication
and complete comprehension
to ensure a swift and decisive force

and one that wins.

Sometimes.

Sometimes only a split second
is needed to make a moral decision
When the mind is clouded
with what seems to be lust
or blinded by selfish desires

Sometimes the world will seem flat
cause the roads go straight
and never seem to end

Sometimes a blink of the eye
and all that seems to be is not
And a new experience emerges
A new sensation.

a little.

What I did yesterday
Selfless deed
Yet lack of self control
Can two wrongs make a right?
Was it wrong or right?

A little guilt, a little doubt
A little disbelief.

A little fear, a little pressure,
A little time of grief.

Moments II

Moments of closeness
Moments of drift
Moments of separation
Moments of grief

Moments

So a new year has started. People making resolutions. People making resolutions to make resolutions. People making resolutions to not break their resolutions.

But for me, a new year started when I enlisted. After a while, dates become mere numerals, and days of the week just words with not much meaning, only book in and book out.

And every second of the day is measured and balanced though the scales always tilt to one side.

Perhaps life is best defined by moments and not years or minutes or seconds. A fish gasping for air for a second would find that second longer than its life time in a fishbowl. If it remembers anything at all.

Perhaps we should define our lives by moments. First kiss. First hug. First love. First rejection. Moments where we stood up for our friends. Moments where our friends left us and we have to fend for ourselves. Moments of peace and serenity. Moments of trust. Moments of faith.

A moment like this.