Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Love or lust. If, if, if only my thoughts were righteous and just.

Warriors thump their spears upon the ground to the same beat and rhythm in same tempo. Others clang their fiery swords against their shields adorned with bright sparkling crystals and rubies and gems of every kind.

A loud maniacal laugh that strikes pure fear resounds from behind and the warriors part to reveal a ball of fire, with horns and a tail. Could this be a lion roaring through the streets or a thief cometh in the still of the night?

Above, black crows screech and come to rest on branches. Perhaps an ominous sign of evident impending doom. Oh that God would strike me dead. I flinch as a bolt of lightning strikes a tree in front of me. Perhaps it's a burning bush, a sign from the Most High. The tree burns to a crisp and fizzles out, leaving a few scorched crows in its place.

Where is your god, the ball of fire taunts, as its warriors slowly trudge forward, thumping and clanging, their grim symphony resounding all through the valley. Darkness looms. Wait, not darkness. Shadows. Yes, shadows. Dancing shadows that flit from tree to tree. Souls who are screaming in eternal damnation, their shadows yell and whoop and clamor for mine, with outstretched hands of black mist.

I fall to my knees. No, no, I must resist. I cannot give up the fight. But the spirit is willing and the body is weak. A thin line that borders between love and lust. If, if, if only my thoughts were righteous and just. Then a wisp of smoke captures my attention and when it has settled, a gun appears. Gleaming, it beckons to me with a wink. Come end your misery my good friend. Why suffer and be in such a torturous state of mind? But Ii must endure. Fight and die or flee to fight another day? Love or lust, if, if, if only my thoughts were righteous and just.