sometimes.

Sometimes you don't need a partner to be loved. Just companions to fill the heart.
Sometimes one delights in others absurdness like posting in a forum and asking if using peer to peer (p2p) software 'can kana virus or not'
Sometimes one ponders what is the world coming to.
Sometimes life becomes so meaningful when you share it with others.
Sometimes everything's perfect except the feeling.
Sometimes two friends drift apart.
Sometimes all one has to do is wait.
Sometimes two friends come back together.
Sometimes friendships require closures too.
Sometimes two friends become two strangers.
Sometimes funerals aren't meant to be sad or grieved.
Sometimes faith and material-less world makes life meaningful.
Sometimes words fail us. And we turn to time.
Sometime sometimes makes sometimes some time and not all the time.

ya mian bao

So there I was at the coffeeshop, ordering duck noodle for takeaway.

Me: Ya mian, bao. (Duck noodle, takeaway)

[Lady from shop behind me]

Aunty: Mian bao? Wo men you zhi shi mei you ya er yi. [Bread? We have, only lacking the duck]

[Duckman daos her while I politely smile and roll my eyes inwardly]

Sometimes people need not be too enthusiastic. Especially when cracking cold jokes at 9 in the morning.

:)

Darn.

And so the realization strikes me. Gmail isn't growing as fast as it should. I've used 80% of my gmail space already. 5701mb to be exact, out of 7075mb.

Which isn't very feasible. Thank goodness I'm ending work in a week. But still, time to do house cleaning.

And the limit for Unlimited space looms near. But then again, that's the freedom of email accounts no? You can create more than one and simply shift stuff around to leverage out the space.

Time to get another gmail account me thinks. :)

Blogging.

I'm actually using my gmail account to compose and publish this post directly, without even logging in to blogger. This way, nobody in office can tell at first glance that I'm blogging. It would just seem as if I'm composing an email. Of course, I could make it even more believable by putting a dear sir/ma'am at the beginning. Or a Dear Diary.

The official definition would be to call it a web log instead of a blog but that would be, like, totally, uncool, like, you know, like yea.
But no matter whether you call it a blog, web log, journal or dear diary, you would probably have seen or experienced part of its evolution.
It was only in 1999 that blogs became popular, but even so, it was only for those in the youth demographic. Students used it to vent out frustrations or post ideas or reflections of lectures. Most would rather write it out than type.

Then the blog revolution came. Hosts like livejournal and blogger gained publicity by word of mouth, and experts all sat around and discussed this new trend. Suddenly it seemed as if everyone was blogging. And why not? It offered simplicity - just type and click publish. It offered freedom - why censor your own words? Just rave and rant! Best of all, it offered a chance to be heard, by the millions of people who surf the web. But if everybody is busy blogging, who's busy reading the posts?

So, a natural evolution came about. Podcastings, videos, blog skins, etc etc, it just came. And so now we have all we could ever have. Password protected posts, so your ex can't read about you hating his guts, or parents finding out your desire to run away from home. Skins of every color and type to help you ensure your blog stands out among the rest. You have advertisements on blogs, so one can write and earn money at the same time. And mobile blogging, and it seems as if there is nothing left to revolutionize it any more.

What's the future of blogging then? Googling doesn't find any answer to the question, and perhaps we would never know. Creation of blogs is still high, as much as its demise. True that there are a lot of blogs doesn't mean a lot of people still blog, since some simply stop blogging. Then again, there are some who own more than one blog.

Will blogging hit the ceiling and fade away, like the burst of the dotcom bubble? Surely not, since it caters to a need inside each of us - the need to be heard. It gives us a voice, and most of us don't bite the hand that feeds us. Perhaps there will be two distinct types of blogs in the future. One which is public and allows us to express our views, opinions on any subject, openly and without discrimination. The other would be that which is highly secure, and hack-resistant. The latter blog allows us to reveal our deepest secrets to ourselves. It allows us to pen down our thoughts crucial to our emotional life, and answers the questions we post.

What do you think? Will blogging decline steadily or simply remain constant till the internet gets overcrowded?

music madness 2

can you feel the rhythm of the falling
raindrops keep falling on my head
head and shoulders knees and
those were the days my friend we thought they'll never
[it's the] end of the world

joy to the world all the boys and
girls watch the boys go
by the rivers of babylon as we sat
downtown where everything's waiting for
you are the sunshine of my
[the circle of] life and it moves us
all or nothing at
all by myself don't wanna
be-yond the sea somewhere waiting for me
me a name i call my self far a
long way to go
go go go go gadget flow.
by lupe fiasco.

cause it's like im in a sphere
and around me float those lines of songs
and phrases and titles
and the emotions all lighted panels
behind and above
and i reach and grasp
and pluck them off their flight plan
but more keeps coming
and the more i take
the more it comes
and a sweep of the hand
and it moves to the left
point the finger and it shrinks
just take and combine
these thoughts in my head
they keep running they keep chasing
these songs in my head
they keep playing they keep singing.

Maybe it's an R thing

I believe in numbers and letters of the alphabet. I don't worship them of course.

7's a nice number. It signifies completion. Seven days in a week. Just read any book of the bible, and seven would be in it. Seven years of famine, the Pharaoh was told. To forgive seventy times seven. Seven seals of revelation, and the list goes on and on.

I kind of look for stuff that could mean one or the other. Names. Letters of names. Numbers of letters of names.

Like me and Js and me and Rs. Coincidence some say, but I don't have, perhaps I don't believe in coincidences.

Second R to fail. History seems to repeat itself. Can't get too close to an R. That's what the R in hurt stands for.

Guilt.

Wouldn't it be nice to just start all over again, and embark on a new life.
Just restart the computer, or create a new email account; a new identity.
But it doesn't really work that way.

We could lock up the memories that we don't need or want and banish them from our minds forever. But there will come a time when they would break free and come back, twice as heavy the burden.

A new name, a new person, but deep down no matter how many new identities we create, or try to imitate or conform to, we will still be the same person, at the end of the day.

And so we live on, day by day, to perish at the end of the day just so we awake alive at the beginning of the next. To do as much good as we can, during the day, because of the bad that we did the day before. Or the week. Or the month. Or the year.

Despite being assured of our salvation.

Guilt.