A Post of Thoughtful Bereavity

It's when you start to feel sad when you watch a CSI:Miami actor/forensic officer/person sworn to uphold the law die that you realise the full impact of the media.

Sure I've learnt all the styles, I can roughly guess how they do it and why they do it, I could write a list of the camera angles they used, the transitional effects they did, in fact, I kinda thought I was desensitized to it all, but watching CSI:Miami just now made me feel it all again.

Perhaps it's the watching the each episode religiously, as I follow the team along, and really know each character's story, that I can feel when the character dies. Or maybe, it's cause I've had experiences with death that I can empathize what the other team members feel:when one of them is taken down.

Which brings me to ponder. The effect that this the death of Speed has on me, is it due to the past experiences I had with death or is it due to the complex combination of picture and sound? Or is it because having watched so many episodes, I have a perceived connection and understanding of Speed's personality and character that I feel the illusion of losing someone I know yet knowing I didn't lose anybody?

But, if then I am living under the illusion that I know Speed, that is the character who died in the line of duty, then would that mean that the feelings of sadness that have been given life are illusional and only serve to disillusionize me? But, surely feelings cannot be falsely created? Sure, I could feign feelings that is pretend to be angry or sad or in love but then, this would be to act as if there are feelings there and not creating false feelings or feelings that amount to nothing. Or, is it simply the body lying to itself? The eyes see and and absorb and transmit the information to the brain who recognizes it as emotional and forwards it to the heart who responds with the proper emotions but because the mind sees it as a bad experience, the emotions bounces back and the heart hastily removes the content and resends the emotions, which are empty and thus counterfeit.

Oh Speed. How could you die. Oh mind. How could you lie.

aMsn. and. Animated Emoticons

Wow. You know the freedom of creating email accounts never really gets to you until you experiment with a new program. See, I found aMSN, this cool MSN/WLM Msgr Clone that can be used on any platform, be it Windows or Mac or Linux. It totally replicates the MSN/WLM look and feel and features like nudges and personal nicknames, something that the popular Msn-replacement-for-Mac Adium doesn't offer. Oh, did I mention some Msn games can run on aMSN too?
So, proud of my find, I download the software and start to tinkle with it, only to have it crash within one minute.
A little unsure of it's credibility, I restart the application again and it all goes well; I get connected, and then the program hangs. So I try pressing Apple-Q but to avail. So I did the very very very common keyboard shortcut that would let me... Force Quit! It has totally gotta be the best function for Mac users.
So, I'm a little skeptical of the program now and while it doesn't hang for the next five minutes, I slowly play around with its features and settings, finding that it is indeed a very good clone of Msn or WLM itself.
Then a slight problem arises, when I send a document to my contact, which is transferred at an agonizingly snail speed. [I think it was 0.1 kb/s] So I end up switching back to Adium to send the file over. [2.9 kb/s]
7 hours later, I'm back at home, running WLM on my home PC, running aMSN and running Adium simultaneously. And it strikes me. I have THREE hotmail accounts. I used to have One, then my Mac came along and I had Two so I could run both simultaneously and send files to each other. Then aMSN came along and now I have Three. Coupled with 1 Gmail and 2 Yahoo. And I realise I don't really use my Yahoo! Mail except for... Yahoo! Pool.
Let's See.. Hotmail gives me 2Gb, Yahoo! gives me 1Gb and Gmail gives me 2Gb [And counting] so... that would give me... a total of.. 10Gb online storage space?!?!?! Now That's a lot! It's even more than my Windows Partition on my Mac.
Imagine how useful one's Email Account could be.. for Backup Services. Like Gspace
Too bad it can't be used as a scratch disk. Haha, that would be the ultimate dream for every audio/video/image editor or developer.
Okay, enough of such stuff. HmM. 2Gb of online storage space would be good for sharing movies.
Oh, and! I've learnt how to create animated emoticons! And using only Photoshop! It's rather easy! Once you get the hang of it. Check out mine! I did both in half an hour. Though I think it's a little ghastly. Heh. But first time ma...

Hee I don't mind comments. Just click on the blue region of the Apple to comment! :D

Those old times

Watching the opening speeches of both teams in The Arena, I can't help but feel a tinge of nostalgia as I recall my secondary school debating times.

You know those inter-class debates the school organizes as post-exam activities which turn out to be slack activities for most students? I was involved with a couple of them. Those were the days....

I was always the least prepared one. Not that I stooped down on research or preparing script but I always believed in free speech and being impromptu. I always felt a script hindered the little creativity I have, though it does have its use in ensuring one stays to the point and not go off-track which is rather common for me. Now, where was I?

Oh yes, debating. You know, in upper sec, there was this fellow female debater whom I, well, debated with. Hmm of course when I mean debated with, I don't mean I debated with her on things that is I argued with her but rather we argued together. I mean, well, you know what I mean.

Anyway, back to the point. For all the debates I've done with her, I always ended up as the speaker either before or after her, and she would never fail to mention me in her speech. In fact, it was like a tradition; a tradition nobody else saw. I guessed it was motherly in its early stages since she always made it sound as if our opposition bullied me or gearing the opposition up for a powerful speech by me.

Though I never did successfully make a powerful speech in those two years of debating, every mention of me in her speech never failed to elicit a grin from me. Not that [God Forbid] I had a crush on her or any feelings of romantic nature, it was rather the spirit of continuity, like the ebb and flow of the tide. Something like that.

Now I wonder, what would happen when poly students debate? In secondary school, much of what was in your speech came from research, namely Google and Yahoo and Google and Yahoo. Yet, when one is in polyhood, one has garnered enough life experiences to be able to use as fodder for our arguments yes?

Wouldn't the whole debating experience be totally different? After all, [most] poly students know how to use the Internet to aid them in research gathering, [some] know how to dress to suit the occasion, and quite a few have experienced a lot in life already.

Definitely entertaining no?

5.1 Altec Lansing Speakers

I'm blessed with good friends. Good older sisters to be exact. In chinese.

Hee I went to G's house today. Her house damn nice sia. Her room especially. 5.1 ALTEC LANSING SPEAKERS. My gosh. And her room's rather blue-y too. Reminds me of Blue's Clues that Kids Central show. And her house is like totally packed with food. No wonder she eats like so much. [Though how she ain't 'big' remains a mystery]
5.1 ALTEC LANSING SPEAKERS
Do you know how powerful and marvelous the sound is when it's 5.1 speakers.
Ok la, so maybe it's not That expensive la. A check on Altec Lansing website puts it around $200 Sing but still...... 5.1 SPEAKERS. That's like totally totally cool lor. Imagine gaming. Or watching movie. The sound would be so cool. Maybe she's an audiophile.
Anyway her room is damn nice. It's rather neat though. And her bed has a mosquito net on it la. Reminds me of those olden olden wedding beds where they have those veil things covering the bed.
5.1 Altec Lansing Speakers. Sigh. Some people have it all in the world man. I can't even do a 5.1 Speaker surround system thanks to my computer being placed in the corner. I should go her house more often. *hint hint* Besides, it's so near school.
5.1 ALTEC LANSING SPEAKERS.

Best Friend

'So, Randy, who's your best friend?' shE asked.
Caught totally off-guard, I gave a blank look as my mind struggled to provide an answer to that...
'He has a lot of friends but no best friend', She said.
And, so it begun.
Do I have a best friend? I have lots of friends, but how would you differentiate between a close friend and a best friend? If a best friend is one that has been with you for like eternity then I most definitely do not have a best friend, thanks to my chameleon ways.
But do guys need best friends? Not that I'm a masochist, of course, but, best friends are, well, for talking problems out and lending listening ear and that cliche phrase 'going through thick and thin together' and frankly, few guys talk out their problems to other guys, most doing it to female friends or sadly no one.
And I have like quite a number of female friends but which is my best friend, I wonder.
There are people who treat each of their friend as special and unique and equal as another friend. I ain't one of them. Some friends matter more to me than others. Some I would gladly die for, whereas there are others I would xiu shou pang guan; stand at one side and just watch. Not mockingly, nor frustratingly, but fearlessly sad.
So the ultimate question is who is my best friend.
No one.
Well, no one that transcends all my sides in all my lives. And perhaps it is these numerous facets of life I have that I don't really really have a best friend.
I rather be un-understood than misunderstood. Cause the people who assume they know me don't know me and it irks me. Three me-s in one sentence. Amazing!

feb 14

haha. that's all i can describe about today. plain ol' simple haha.
I went shopping today! Before you ask, it wasn't with my gf or anybody special. Well, I mean romantically special la. After all, my friends are all special what. :D
Shopping at Far East, with six girls, I think today I entertained more than I ever did for a company of the same size.
Not to mention being called 'girl' by the food stall owner, who immediately said I very handsome when she learned I was a 'He', [No, I did not show her my gender].
I look like a butch meh?
Well, I managed to keep within my budget! Bought a shirt for 50 bucks. And my shoes 29.90. And 'learned' how to flick my hair, just like a girl, for free. Talk about a skills improvement program.
Oh, and the shoes were a buy one free one at the shop opposite school.
And the gossip over the food table. Heh, I'm such a gossiper. Which is why I'm drinking Root Beer to drown my sorrows. Though all it produces are burps.
Anyway, the girls I went out with are a great bunch though. All know how to laugh. Which is like oh, [flicks hair] so important when one is with me. [wide grin]
And I can never understand why everybody is fascinated with my hand hair. i mean, it's just deforestation taking place. [ponders awhile] Or maybe it has a relation to the gap of the ozone layer.
And bleddy hell. Three traffic jams on my way back to Tampines from Orchard on bus 518. Took 1 hr and 45 mins! And you would have thought the roads would be empty on Valentine's Day because everybody is busy pak tor-ing at the parks or at home drinking their loneliness off. As a result of the jams, my salon closed and I couldn't cut my hair! and Watsons closed too! I couldn't buy my face wash!
Sigh.
At least I managed to get my shirt and my shoes, so half of my list is done. Just the hair cut / trim and my face wash.
And since I'm working tomorrow, maybe I'll get a shampoo after the hair cut / trim so I won't have to go home and bathe. and go out again.
Heh. And my phobia of chilli never fails to come up during meal times.
And, you. I can't quite figure out if I like you or not. I'm mentally unliking you while my heart goes in the opposite direction.
What if the one you like, doesn't meet any of your 'criteria' at all.
I miss you. That's for sure. Maybe it's your eyes. It's always the eyes, I guess.
sigh.
I saw an eyesore. Did your eye saw?

Lame Joke

LAME JOKE ALERT!
If you suffer from any of the following symptoms when faced with a lame joke:

a) breathlessness
b) inability to respond
c) forced laughter
d) an incoherent speech pattern
e) irregular heart beat
f) feeling of retaliatory physical assault

you are advised not to read the following. By proceeding on, you are hereby acknowledging that you do not suffer any of the above symptoms.


Who says office workers don't exercise much when they beat around the bush, run around in circles, sharpen pencils, jump to conclusions, climb the corporate ladder, skip a step or two?

Nice Vid

A video you should definitely watch!
http://www.atomfilms.com/film/animator_vs_animation_2.jsp