hobble firefly

Hobble hobble
me poor knee's trouble
that only help would swiftly
come on the double.

Fly light, fly bright,
first firefly I see tonight.
I wish it may, I wish it were
that bad memories can pass by in a blur.

Bra bullet.

Story

If the underwire from a bra can deflect a bullet, maybe they should start issuing soldiers with bras, to be tried-and-tested bullet deflectors.

Or maybe issue underwires. Perhaps then we need to come out with an estimated of male cup sizes then.

Or perhaps, just follow the old Western Cowboy way, and issue all with two bibles, one for the left breast and one for the right breast. It'll stop a bullet.

Ain't sure about the second one.

Attorney jokes.

Something I found online.


ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
_______________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
_______________________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-one-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.
________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitt'in me?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh.... I was gett'in laid!
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Are you shitt'in me? Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Guess.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to rephrase that?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh.....are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________
--- And the best for last: ---

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

It's so easy.

It's so easy to fall for you.
And to ask for you to be mine.

If.

If something attracts your eyes, is it love at first sight?

What if.

He bursts out of the door, with two goons chasing him. One reaches out to grab him, but slips on a wooden frame and falls. The other leaps over him and continues the chase. He dashes forward and turns at the corner, only to stop in his tracks. In front of him, lies a ten metre high stone wall, and no other exit.

Halfway around the globe, a man dressed in a nondescript black shirt and blue jeans appears on a toilet display set. Onlookers gawk through the window, as he stares blankly around him in disbelief.

[Camera zooms in to the brand beside the flush button. It reads 'Jumper'.]

He disappears and we see him at a counter, with a brightly-lit Hotel 81 sign hung on the wall. The receptionist asks for his name, and he replies, 'Bourne. Bourne Lah.'

[Cue: Hotel sign fades to Movie title: Jumper Bourne Lah.]

It's not that hard to imagine.

Imagine.

And so, another mass dance in a very public place, meant to look spontaneous, but you and me and the whole worlds knows it's been rehearsed.

Though you wonder, if perhaps, in the not so near future, there might exist a spontaneous dance within the masses.

So, if every very public place produced such a video, can one sue for plagiarism of idea? But the moves would be different, as well as the setting.

Now if only somebody did this in Singapore. At like say, Changi Airport, or the Esplanade rooftop. And make a fantastic production of it. With an aerial view camera, as well as others.

I'm imagining.

random posting.

Teeth. They cause you pain.
Physical.
Emotional.
Financial.

Investment in calcium.
Would it payback?

Perhaps I should train up my running.
Then I can say Ran run till Ran ran.
Or something like that.

Army ruins cells.
Infiltrates terrorists cells.
Destroys brain cells.
And I suppose some bio student could continue that
on what other cells are affected.

feline

I come back home
and its not the warmth or comfort of the bed that appeals
nor so much the technology
though I admit it helps fulfill the need
to socialize

but rather I look forward to the feline
To scratching her below her chin
as she rubs against my leg
in delight
and purrs.

Oh, the simple pleasures of life.
Why complicate it?

Touch.

Touch is a very sensitive thing no?
It could get guys into trouble.
It could get girls into trouble too.
And, best of all, it gets hearts into trouble.

A simple touch could mean intimacy
or the fine and slow art of seduction.
In a simple touch, feelings are exchanged,
and perhaps slight intentions.

Intentional forebodings
or accidental discharge.

A touch could be but a slight brush of fingers
Or as complex as a kiss.

Gentle yet rough
Sensitive yet harsh
Well-meaning yet invasive
Addictive yet corrosive
A mere parcel of life.
A gift life brings.

turn

I turn my head to the east
I don't see nobody by my side
I turn my head to the west
Still nobody in sight
So I turn my head to the north
Swallow that pill
that they call pride
That old me's dead and gone
But the new me gonna be alright

what would ye say?

And for a brief moment, in a small hole the size of the thumbtack,
in one's shining armor,
one becomes afraid of the future.

What would happen to these photos hanging on their frames?
Burnt, thrown, forsaken? Or digitalized, and uploaded?
And CDs. Would they still exist? Or be defunct?

For surely, these wood, metal and glass that surround me would
fade, or rot, or simply melt away,
into oblivion.

Yet, it is these physical surroundings
that our memories are based on.
If there is no house, would we have a home?
If there is no school, would we have education?
If there is no camp, would there be camaraderie?

And yet the memories linger on
in the mental constraints of our mind
and it faces a different enemy in there
that of time.

And time says. Why build up your wealth just to soak in
metal, glass and wood,
that would melt, shatter and rot?
Why not make each day more meaningful than the day before,
not cavorting around in denial or self satisfaction,
but making the most of every second, minute and hour
of every single day, month and year.

For as time gently gnaws at our memories,
so our time becomes lesser.
And then what would ye say
when ye have looked back at time yonder?

Imagine.

I was thinking about the future the other day. Imagining when I have kids.
And they'll go,

"You mean you actually had to press on the keys to type an sms?"

"You used LCD monitors?"

"You owned a 1.3 megapixel phone camera?"