I SAW. Sick Alive Well. Okay, so technically that aint purrfect english and my tutor huo zhe (or in chinese) my lecturer would lamblaste me. Yet, today has been hot. I've one and off slight fever and on and off headaches. Mild ones. It's like.. a headache would slowly creep out of nowhere and create this Black Hole thingy in my mind and suck up all the facts and figures and thought processes and then a fever of like perhaps 37.5 degrees celcius would emerge.
But thank God for Panadol Actifast!
I took about five pills at different intervals during the day and it gave me new life. Panadol Actifast. Grab your box before it all gets sold out!!
okay, new life is an exaggeration. It just gave me that temporary mental shield to block the Black Hole from sucking up more things and added water to the fire. fever. fire.
And this is the first time I've been sick like that. Most of my sickness are like serious kind that requires a day of rest or two or simple simple kind that can be cured with a pill or two. Never before has sickness been like a wooden splint under the skin. It kinda of is more an irritation than a cause for worry or concern.
These few days have been tiring. Job training on Wednesday and Thursday from 7-10pm. BMR research at night. I skipped sociology tutorial on Thursday. Was so friggin/freakin shagged. And just my luck/divine occurrence/fate/act of God, I meet my tutor when I go for my second lesson. Which actually led me to start thinking at infrequent times about my status with lecturers/tutors/teachers.
Cause to an extent, I feel kinda bad about missing her lesson. Furthermore, the look on her voice and tone of her voice depicted a tinge of disappointment. It could be that i'm just hyper sensitive yet in retrospect, I can't help but notice a particular emotional attachment to a few of my teachers. Not that I suck up to these teachers or not, but to an extent I treat them as friends.
It could be the fact that teachers are honest to an extent and have experiences that once shared, could be valuable to you in impartation of knowledge or nuggets of wisdom. It ain't easy being a teacher. Yeah, the first thing that comes to our minds would be the amount of work to be graded/marked or the endless race of deciphering scrawled words that simply look like Tamil. (Note: I'm not being racist)
There is a slight difference in Secondary School teachers and Polytechnic lecturers and/or tutors. In secondary school, the focus was more on education, getting grades, scoring well in exams, and more of teachers coming up with, dare I say, modern methodologies to grasp and maintain the attention of the students, like for example telling ghost stories or revealing certain aspects or experiences in one's life.
Polytechnic lecturers, on the other hand, are more open and receptive. You may think it's easy to be open and receptive but just take a minute to reflect deeply and you will realise it's not easy. Open up too much and it may be easy to be scarred. I remember journalism class where the tutor brought his daughter's keychain as a show-and-tell.
I guess you could say, to an extent, that polytechnic lecturers are more carefree and more determined on cohering instead of things like grades. They ask more about your personal lives, become your friends and in turn reveal parts of themselves to you too.
The emotional attachment between polytechnic lecturers/tutors and students definitely boasts of a higher level of stability than that between a secondary school teacher and his or her students. This is of course, taking into account that the student is not the withdrawn, silent type in class but rather slightly chatty or boisterous.
I feel bad about missing her class. And I'm starting to think perhaps I am not who I am. Have I broadcasted an image that is totally different from who I am? But who am I? Am I still living in the life of yesterdays where I still had Them. Is who I live who I live?
