the knowledge of something unknown

what if you knew something you didn't know before
something that was related to you
something that you never know you have
something bad

what if that something was threatening relationships
burning friendships destroying kinships
what if you never knew you had that something
and all along you never tried to be that something

what if this something is common in most man
but hard to change hard to get rid of
and there's no sure-win way of removing it

what if something came from behind
tripped you
stripped you
and places a knife to your heart
each beat becomes amplified
each breath savoured
cause there's no way of knowing
direction of the wind turning
there's no way of seeing
who's behind in front your left or your right
unsure of trust and who you trust
unsure of understand and who understands you
unsure of pain and who pains you

Yet God is in control and believe that I must!

amen.

P.C. Day 8

So today's Day 8 now. my stats dont seem to be increasing nor decreasing. well, the good thing is I thanked a bus dirver yesterday for stalling the bus for me and HE NODDED in response. Well, and all along, I thought bus drivers were people engineered to ensure that every EZ Link Card that passes them has been tapped. Guess they are human after all!

Well, other than that, there's nothing else im afraid. The project ain't successful.

Projects are like due around the corner and coming at great speed. But, it's quite ok la. i kinda miss my friends. But I must trudge on. To paradise.

P.C. 6/7

So P.C.'s day 6/7 and I have yet to greet any unknown friend. In a way, I think when day 10 comes, I'll just scrap this p.c. cause its freakin hard to achieve and sometimes i live to look for people i can greet instead of living normally. sounds kinda cliche doesnt it.

Anywya, you know what's the best thing about an ex? the foundation of trust has already been established so while it may have crumbled a little, it is easier to repair a wall than to build one.

Well, today wasnt that bad. I slept quite a lot but I did some work too, like reading through BMR Lit Review and touching a bit on Jap group drama and Audio group proj 1.

PC. Day 4

So it's day 4. My number of greetings and thank you-s are slowly increasing. Seriously, I am considering increasing the time frame of my 'experiment'. Maybe I'll change it from ten days to a month.

The only thing lacking right now, in my opinion, is greeting bus drivers. We tend to belittle the thought but it can actually be tough. You realise after awhile that bus drivers rarely, if not never, look at you in the eye when you're with them. Their eyes are either on the side mirror, their finger ready to press the button to close the doors, or their head angled to the left, their eyes glazing at some unknown area, their ears inclined towards the EZ-Link Card readers, listening attentively for the beeps and toots.

So, well, today I've said one greeting and thanked one person. And allowed someone to go first who thanked me. Ain't sure that falls under what category la.

I greeted the cleaner at my sch canteen when I went there for my morning ritual in the morning. Bleddy rain, make me so cold in the bus! Anyway, she greeted me back with a wide smile, showing me the number of teeth she has lost! Hee. Nevertheless, it's a smile.

Suck it. my number of messages was slight above 2000 for last month. [curses under one's breath] Well, I expected it to exceed but not that much! So sheeeeeet man. I've so gotta cut down. or my dad'll have my throat.

P.C. Day 3

yes! Finally! Hee. I'm kinda happy. Cause I've greeted someone in the lift. This lady that I've seen before in my block but never said hi. my mum chats with her though. Honestly speaking, my mum is super duper friendly, sometimes too friendly.

So that's one for the greetings.

And. I think Im growing old cause I can remember the number of times I've thanked somebody but not remember to whom I've said it. STM.

P.C. Day 2

So it has come to Day 2 of P.C. and gosh am i ashamed of myself.

Wasn't a courteous person at all. I mean, I only said Thank You once to a non-friend. Kind of pathetic.

Worst part was I actually had a few opportunities to greet the bus driver but I didn't! (curses under one's breath)

I am seriously considering setting the 100-man target to be reached by the end of the month instead of days. Seriously.

Ain't life sad.
We live day by day.
Not knowing about tomorrow
Not knowing that your best friend today
will be gone
vanished, poof, out of your life
tomorrow

Ain't life grand
the person you once knew
pops into your life
pops into your life and says hi
pops into your life and says hi and decides to stay
till tomorrow

And then life goes blam!
the person you know
you thought you knew
you knew now you dont quite know
leaves ur life
in a rush, in a hurry
as if chasing something lasagne maybe

well what can i say
you've stripped me apart
buildings crumbled
walls destroyed
even the vase is broken
the cord cut off

what you want me to do?
live life in the buff
where every hair is counted, mocked then yanked off?

show me the meaning. of being lonely. of being somebody. of being. you.

P.C. Day 1

So today is P.C. Day 1. Maybe you're expecting me to hold my head up high and say that I've met my daily quota of ten unknown people I'll greet.

I regret to say I didn't greet a single person today. That's not saying that I'm unfriendly or reclusive cause I do greet my friends but greetings friends ain't part of my personal project.

I woke up with huge expectancy, full of confidence that I'll meet my quota but at the end of the day, I'm shaken and humbled by my own actions.

I jauntily skipped out of the house, notebook and pen in my pocket, hoping to meet someone in the lift that I could wish good morning, ready to jot down happy stuff. The lift arrived vacant.

Not to be discouraged, I walked to the bus-stop with a beam on my face, as if telling the world "come! I ain't gonna frown, not just yet!"

I mentally steered myself to wish the bus driver good morning. Unfortunately, the bus was packed and upon seeing the uncle's stern, unsmiling, disgruntled face, I swallowed my words. Literally. My mouth automatically zipped closed, the smile blown away.

I think i'm gonna add another column in the counter. How many times I said Thank You because I think too many times we say Thank You without really meaning it. But from now on, I'm gonna mean it!

I can't help but shudder when i wonder how people can live everyday life without greeting someone. The mental preparation of greeting someone gives me an adrenaline and endophins-rush. honest! You try it!


Day 1: Failure!