Life.

Ah. The starting of school. It's gonna be fun this academic year. Why? Because I'm learning AudioPro and MultiCam. This year will tell me if I should enter the TV side or the Radio side. Or Neither. I checked out Degree Prices. There is one I'm quite interesting in, namely, Sim University, offering a Bachelor's Degree in English with Sociology. Kind of cool, two degrees. But. of course the cost. 22k for a Basic and 29k for an Honours degree. Another University that interests me is Monash University, offering Bachelor of Arts (Journalism) and Bachelor of Arts (Communication). Monash offers them at 22.5k, which is around the same price. oh well, hope I can get a scholarship or sponsorship.. but.. hehe. after army la. then see how.

So ya dont like me eh.. I guess in a way, it's kindof good.. since.. well.. you deserve someone better. And. I'm sorry for the confusion, trouble and burden I've caused you ever since we met. I'm sorry.

The heart is like a hotel, love like the aircon. You don't need to step into the hotel to feel the aircon; dont need to be in the heart to feel the love. Yet, just like a hotel has public areas (Lobby) and locked rooms, so does love that anybody and everybody can obtain and love that're meant for certain people in particular. Each locked room has a name embedded on its door. Inside the room, exclusive love for that person. Love either swells inside or gets stagnant and diminishes depending on how long before the door is opened.

We tend to push things till later, saying we're young now and we shouldn't go into a relationship cause we don't know what love is. But is that really so??

It's true that our preferences change through the tide and turn of time as we get deeper; we no longer have such a strong emphasis on the looks that are skin-deep but tend to look inward for the character and the heart. Yet, isn't it the same?

What maketh us think that love that we experience in primary school, [we called a crush] is different from the love in secondary school [we called like] to the love we will fall into in the later stages of life [we admit it's love]?? Love will always be love, its symptoms will always be the same. Nervousness, sweaty palms, the quickening of the heart, the slight blush on the cheeks, the endless chatter.

Love is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. It could be the his calm and soothing voice that charms you yesterday or his romantic notions and ideas that impress you today or his gentleness with you tomorrow. It could be her lovely laughter yesterday or the look she has when she chats with you today or the feel of her head on your shoulder tomorrow. Love is still love.

The greatest love is not in the act of holding hands or the surprise bouquet but the simple things done everyday like offering your seat to those who need it more or pressing the lift for people. To do it without a slightest hint of hesitation, to do it without thinking if it'll make you miss the bus or have a huge impact on your day's schedule, that's the best love anyone can give. that everybody should give.

Woahz! Timetable! Yippee!!

Woahz! My timetable is out! And it ain't that bad. Not that packed. at all. Let me put it all here.. in case next time i forget to bring my timetable, i can refer to my blog.


Mondays -> 9 - 11am (Basic Media Research Tutorial/Evelyn lau)
-> 12 - 4pm (Audio Pro Lab/Felicia Nah [my favourite])
-> 5 - 6pm (Audio Pro Lec/Ethan Guo [another favourite])

Tuesdays -> 9 - 11am (Basic Media Research Lec/Ah Chuah)
-> 12 - 2pm (PsySocio Lec/Ah Chuah)

Wednesdays -> 11 - 12am (MultiCam Lec/pohyoke [who's he/she?])

Thursdays -> 10 - 12pm (PsySocio Tutorial/Ah Chuah)
-> 1 - 2pm (APEL2 Tutorial/Clifford Yap [Yuck!])
-> 4 - 6pm (LCJA {Jap} Tutorial/Kaori)
-> 5 - 6pm (LCJA {Jap} Lecture/Kaori)

Friday -> 12 - 1pm (Basic Entrepreneurship Tutorial/ Evelyn Lau)
-> 2 - 6pm (MultiCam Tutorial/ pohyoke [who's he/she??])

And there you have it. A nice neat timetable that fits quite nicely with my schedule. I have Tp band pract on Mon & Fri and my lessons ends just nice on these days to give me time for dinner and not too much free time that I'll be bored. My Tuesdays and Wednesdays are light which grant me the opportunity to go back to SHWO every now and then. And my first week will be even neater since I dont have to go for tutorials. Now I just wonder who's in my class. sigh. And I have to see ah chuah for four hours every Tuesday. double sigh.

He walked. and saw.

He stepped onto the bus, his hand swiping the card against the reader while his eyes scanned the passengers, looking for an empty seat. He blinked once as he regained his composure. It was her. The person that had occupied his mind for the past five minutes. He walked slowly towards her, his mind suddenly blank. "What should he say?" he wondered. He hoped he didn't stammer.


She wasn't pleased to see him. In fact, he felt just like an invading army charging behind enemy lines in the dark, unsure of his bearings and his purpose. He had noticed a glint of what appeared to be apprehension in her eyes when he trod slowly towards her. She didn't look him in the eye at all when she replied his questions. His mind was confused. He read her eyes, seeing a troubled mental state. He wanted to ask her about it but how sure was he of his readings?


He was confused. period. He was concerned about her but he didn't know how to show it. After all, he knew he was the one responsible for making her confused. And he didn't like it a bit. He never liked doing anything bad to his loved ones like making them sad or angry. or confused. He felt guilty and he was guilty!


He hoped she was alright. Feelings aside, she was his sister. He hoped she would allow him to be there for her when the need arose. Frankly, he wished to be the best brother she ever had.


He went back to build his castles in the air.

These Few Days...

These Few Days...

I've been busy. I've chatted with my ex. I've been as happy as a lark but so so so unrighteous. I've watched a movie with my family. I can't wait for my timetable to be out so I know which days I'm free. I've having a wonderful time with my family of seven (excluding wife and mother), laughing and just having a marvellous time.

These Few Days...

My heart has suffered a whirl of emotions. From love to shock to humility to blessedness to worry to fear to trust and distrust to guilt to sadness to realisation.

These Few Days...

I've realised how blessed I am and that I should not worry.

These Few Days...

I love.

Ah. The exquisite melody of love. and its doors.

Ah.. Love.

Through you, many have died.
In you, many have lived. then died.

Welcome, ye weary traveller to the Door of Love.
Painted a passionate and fiery red,
Its door knobs are, what else, heart shaped.

Upon entry, you will find yourself in a corridor. of doors.

Be warned, traveller, what lurks behind each door.
For love has many exits, many emotions it can cause.

Do take a peek at amongst other doors,
The fountain of Peace or the bubbly springs of Joy
But risketh not your life behind those of evil intentions
The fire of Rage, the tentacles of Jealousy
Watch out for the dominance of Possession.

Let not Lust seduce you, nor Hatred blind you
Instead, let Humilty be opened and
Trust envelope you.

The end of the corridor draws near.
Yet, let not fear go before you
For the door of death is yet, part of love.
and death, in this case, is both happy. and sad.

Till Love do us part.

Masquerade

World. People. Each a different face.

Masquerade.

One Earth. Five oceans. Seven Continents. Islands numbering more than the hairs on your head.

Masquerade.

People.

Fat. Thin. Tall. Short. Dark. Fair. Bespectacled. Contacts. White hair. Black hair. Old. Young. Blonde. Fit. Flabby. Loud. Soft. Kind. Patient. Angry. Fearful. Anxious. Perfectionist. Sad. Happy. Depressed. Resilent. Hungry. Thirsty.

Masquerade.

Do you really know the person beside you? How do you know it ain't just a shell?
How well do you know your friend? Every inch of his mind? Every hair on her head?

How do you know that you are who you are, and you do not conform to the expectations of other people that they may be pleased?

Masquerade

That guy who sat beside you. Yea, he looks like a gentleman. He's dressed in a business shirt and his face boasts a mega-watt smile. He gives up his space for an old lady but how do you know that he doesn't watch child porn at home? or that he was the guy that tried to hit on you online last night?

Masquerade

Who Are You?
Who Am I?

Masquerade.

the daggers come straight and sharp
curse you pride of man
creating that false illusion
of safety
of security
the daggers
they fly
sky high

fickle
liar

the wall crumbles
the water rushes in
it is useless to plug the holes
or even to bail

a deep valley opens up within me
my principles come to a halt. they clash. they fight.
i say the truth but you do not want the truth.
all my life, i lived for the happiness of man, my relationship with God my fuel.
yet now, truth wages war against ur happiness.

like a toddler, i am.
falling.
falling.
falling.


Into the arms of the mighty God.

My gosh!

Sigh. How complicated love is.

I'm a fickle man who aint loyal to one [erson.
But i am no controller of my heart.
love humbles all
It exposes our flaws

Now i know why i was such a loner last time
cause i didn't like being scrutinised and criticised
by misunderstanding people
comprimised by misconceptions

oh love why did ye awaken? what aroused thee?
that ye troubleth me so much

suddenly the family brings me down
to my knees
and my shell breaks
the bombardment of questions
no longer can i maintain my cool

should i bury back into my shell
into that safe refuge
for once darkness seems so bright
fatigue takes over me

saying 'no' aint the truth
saying yes ain't, either.

love can be such a burden.

sigh.

Beauty. Age. Wisdom. Baw!

Ah! The rhythm of the falling raindrops
Each a path to follow
Like the beauty of the falling leaves
Swirling and somersaulting

Concert's over. Sweet memories.
My ex gave me a flower.
Never knew having an ex would be so much
Surprise.

Night before concert and i'm wide awake at 3am.
Eyes larger than my honey's.
Can't turn the lights out, can't seem to induce sleep
So I start to think.

I'm going on 18 this year. That's more than a quarter of my life
Since I'll live to three score and ten
Which makes 70. Do the math!

One quarter about to be ka-boom!
Three quarter left to travel
52 years left to fulfil my dream.s.

Means it's one step closer to receiving my diploma.
One step closer to army admission
One step closer to getting my driving license
One step closer to marriage
To having my first kid
To having my own house
To death! Which is Life!

I look back at my toddler years and I ponder
I wonder and I think.
Am I proud? Am i satisfied?
Have I done wrong? Did any right?

I'm ashamed. Of what I did. And what I didn't do.
Of the failures. The humilation. The suffering. The torture.
My first brush with jealousy. The first spark of lust.
The first tingle of fear. First touch of death.

Yet, beneath the dark ugly evil
There abound some shafts of light.
A good deed here, a compliment there.
A life touched, a hug, a hand
A tear wiped away, a heart I helped to mend
Sorrow I comforted away
Peace and Reconciliation I played a part in.

Am I happy? Yes.
Am I satisfied? Yes.

If my soul should depart from this earth,
If my existence on this ground be removed,
I know I'll be happy.
I'll die and live happily.

Cause I have friends.
I have families.
I have none that I consider an enemy
No one that i hold a grudge to
Or one that I'm jealous of.

I'm blessed.

Amen!