Close every door to me
Keep those I love from me
Steal my heart stab me
lest i be led to sin.
There he stood, looking at the face in the mirror.
"You've brought this upon yourself!"
"I did not. I was successful! But he was better."
"You misinterpreted the signals, you made something out of nothing, like a castle in the air."
"She responded! When I sent her sweet messages, she replied the same way too. That was not a misinterpretation. It was no. It couldn't be. Could it?"
"She merely replied you in the same manner you communicated to her. What kind of a signal is that? She was just being nice and courteous. You dug your own grave! How many times has she gone out with you at all? Come on, think. How many times has she?"
"Twice we did. Or, well, none actually. She was busy! And our timetables clashed. Besides, I end work so late.."
"So now you're blaming work? You're a coward. And a fool! You sucked in every word she said, manipulating it to a signal, always making it seem as if she had feelings for you.."
"For a time, she did! I remembered that part! She didn't deny she had feelings for me!"
".. and now you've brought this upon yourself. You've led yourself straight to the hangman's noose. You became proud. Thought you were a victor, didn't you? Well, now, look at how things have changed. He confessed! What cha' going to do about that? You know deep down inside who the true victor is. And it ain't you!"
"Don't you do this to me, aren't you part of me too. You exist in my mind, stay there! Don't you think I already know I'm not the winner? I didn't even stand a chance. Her best friend didn't like me!"
"Well, who gives a damn whether her best friend likes you or not? You wooing her or her best friend? But, well, whatever makes you happy now, doesn't it. Wallowing in self-pity, you make me want to puke! Let me show you what you want to see."
"Stop it! Don't show me that! Why must you do this, and recollect the past?"
"Why not? I'm your past. and your present. and in me, you see the future."
"You think I don't remember my past enough? That memory so long ago, its similarities to this one. A close friend and my muse. Gone. and now it's happening again."
"Well, if you're so sad, why not fight for her then. Oops, I forgot you fought that time too, and you lost. Well, I guess you're a loser then."
"Why do you keep doing this to me? Why don't you just return to where you belong? I can't fight for her. He's nice and good for her, and she's nice and sweet, good for him too. Besides, she's managed to break loose his shell. That's a good thing. I mean, it is, isn't it. They belong together, and I should not be an obstacle."
"Ooh, being all nicey and oh-so-sharing now eh? You know deep down inside, you're torn apart. On one hand, you want them to be together, cause well, she's spent so much patience on him. Yet, on the other hand, you want to be with her too. But! then again, the thought of him being sad dispels that illusion. Who do you think you are? Mother Theresa? Gandhi? You can't even make yourself happy, and you want others to be happy. You're a lousy hypocrite. "
"I'm not ! I'm not! I never hid behind my mask when I chatted with her! I was myself, to the core."
"AwwW, ain't that sweet. You chatted with your true personality and ditched your mask. Well, ain't that sad. The few times you remove your mask, and you get a punch to the face. You're hopeless you know that? I'm ashamed to be known with you."
"But you can't help it. You're in me. You exist in the recess of my mind! Besides, you're supposed to help me, not be against me!"
"Well, it's a bit hard to help you when you can't even help yourself now isn't it? You like her. He likes her. She likes him. I don't quite see your role in it actually. True, she may have a bit of feelings for you, but she has more for him. Hmm, not that sounds familiar. Wait a sec, didn't this happen before? 5 years ago, didn't another friend of yours induced more feelings than you when both of you rivaled for the same girl?"
"That, well, that was a long time ago. Why did You have to be bring that up anyway? That's all water under the bridge now. Besides, I brought her to Christ now didn't I. I did a good thing."
"True, but in this case, you didn't. And that's where the similarities stop. hmm, now, wasn't that the first time you encountered jealousy? If you going to get jealous again, we gotta get those muscles in shape you know. You can't fight with flab."
"I'm not going, you're such a bastard you know that. I'm not going to fight with him. I mean, if she likes him, she likes him. You can't fight with feelings. No, you can't fight with feelings."
"Well, then I guess it would be a nice show to watch then, when all three parties meet in real life. Haha, you'll die, you know that. But it's alright, I'll watch your mental suffering from my room. I'll definitely send you updates, don't worry."
"I. well, I guess we'll see how when the time comes now wouldn't we. And, I'm so going to lock you in your room. You're a menace you know that."
"I'm the best thing that ever happened to you."
"That's bullshit, now be gone. While I ponder upon my next step. I mean, it would better to leave when one is at the top, than get kicked out, from the bottom."
"Well, whatever makes you happy. Or, maybe whatever makes her happy hmm?"
"Yea, I guess. What that makes her happy, may I revel in it. Now, you go and sleep"
