Me.

So well, I'm gonna talk about me. Well, more of my idealogy.
See, I've been thinking about the girls i liked or rather, girls I had a crush on and somehow quite a significant amount of them start with J.
See firstly, there's my relationship with God. His Son is called Jesus Christ. His name starts with J.
Then, from chronological order, there's my Pri 5 crush called Juliana. Then there was Jacq in Sec 2 to 3. After that, there was Joanna, my ex. And then, now, there's this girl that has gotten my fancy who has a J in her name too.
After course I'm not exactly saying I'm superstituous or something akin to that effect but well, such common occurences do raise an evebrow or two.
Perhaps it's just my fascination with such divine coincidences if I may. [shrugs] I believe everything that happens in my life happens for a purpose even a period long ago where 80% of the time where I looked at the clock or my watch to check the time, it would be the thirtieth-seven minute of the hour. Talk about cool or what.
Back to my gist, it seems that the J-girls are quite impactful on my life. Note that this doesnt necessarily mean that all females starting with J are making/breaking my heart nor does this mean I dont have non-names-with-J crushes. Cause it's kindof bizarre if one selects 'targets' based on name or a certain letter of the alphabet.
And so as I laid on my bed, I was thinking of my life partner. Spouse, wife, darling, lover, whichever you want k.
So I'm thinking cause quite a few of my loves are like J-s so wouldnt my wife be J too?
But then it strikes me that one of my very-strong love's name started with R. So I ask myself do I really love her or is she very like me then it's like loving myself or perhaps I am just showering love on someone who understands me well enough that I feel understood and the love is a reward. After all, at that point, I felt she was the One. But then, maybe I just never met anyone like her to think that way.
But does that mean I love people who are very similar to me? Not really because there are people who are so similar to me that I snub them, indirectly snubbing myself.
Thought i met the wrong, maybe i was wrong. Then again, if she's the one, we'll be together next time. J? R?