Memories

I slept to this song. The song on my blog. One I heard on numerous nights of long ago; at least a year. I remember then, I would turn on to NewsRadio 938 (now known as 938 live) before I slept, around elevenish. Every Wednesday night, there would be a program called Uncommon Sense, hosted by a certain Mel Gill. In the program, he gives advice to callers. It would be from 10pm to midnight and his opening song for his program would be this song "Nothing's gonna stop us now', that's on my blog. I believe he's a psychologist and trainer of sorts. I remember him giving advice ranging on all matters from education to relationships to marriages and its electrifying discharges.
Those were the nights.

I overheard an interesting conversation, or lack of it, today. I was in the bus on the way home from school and behind me sat a mother and her teenage daughter who was on the phone. She was chatting rather loudly and was hushed by her mother. Here was how it went:

Girl: You think I dont know that word ah. My friends were using it the F word in sec two lor. I heard it in kindergarten...

Mum: Oi. You're on the bus. Dont talk so loudly. You're not at home you know.

Girl: [seems to ignore her] Ai yah. If I can, I also want to be perfect lor...

Mum: Nobody can be perfect. Who you think you are. Nobody is perfect. Only Jesus is perfect.

Girl: [murmurs for awhile before silence. It appears her conversation with her friend is over]

Mum: You dont use the F word ah. It's not good.

Girl: I know la! You think I so stupid is it? My friends always use it, but I dont okay.

And then they alighted from the bus.

Some points that can be inferred:
1) Generation gaps will always exist.
2) The family's a Christian family.
3) Parents need to learn how to grow along with their teenage children.

Let's review that conversation together, shall we?

First of all, the mother interrupted the conversation. Hey, I know we teenagers are famed for our multi-tasking skills but show a little respect wont ya. Let us end our conversation before you speak to us. Cause we know you'll blame us after that for being rude and not replying/acknowledging your questions/naggings/comments.

Secondly, note that the mother seem to refute every thing her daughter said, from the F word to perfection. Sure, she's young, just a teenager. you, on the other hand, were a teenager (I just cant resist saying this) nong nong ago, and living and growing up in a completely different environment as us. Oh mama, grow up wont ya.

Thirdly, the conversation between the daughter and her friend was over. And you come and drag the past back again?? The mother referred back to the F word part that she heard. Hey, give the kid a break man. Nobody likes to be reminded of what we said ya know.

Now, I know this post is like so bias towards teenagers but you know what, we teenagers need to make our voices heard. parents need to realize that the authoritarian methods they're using on us are no longer effective. They need to realise that their kids are kids no more but teenagers.

Yea, it is kindof easy to say "oh, it's just a phase, it'll pass over' or "it's just teenager angst" but everything we do or say, has a meaning, a hidden agenda behind it. And if you can examine or seek or discover it, you just might be the one that people'll ask "how do you and your teenage children get along so well? I'm so envious!" or "how do you all remain so close? My dear old boy left me a nong nong time ago". [couldn't resist it again :)]

It's time for parents of teenagers to acknowledge their faults. Stop pushing blame onto other things. Dont use handphones or instant messaging clients or going out with friends as a scapegoat for the distant communication between us teenagers and you parents.

This post is kindof one-sided ain't it. Well, here's the other-sided passages.

It is real good that parents have tried to bridge the [generation] gap. You've barely caressed technology, learning computers and IT-related stuff, and SMS lingo but sometimes you try too hard yea?

Now, of course nobody is perfect, like the daughter said, like the mother said, like everybody says and it's true. There can never be a perfect relationship. There can, however, be a loving relationship.

Do you, parent of a teenage child, promise to take care of your teen, to love despite troubled communications, to step back and give him/her some personal space, to provide financial aid as and when he/she needs it, to acknowledge that there are some things he/she can do better than you, to allow him/her the freedom to make his/her own choices without you shadowing his/her every move, to honor and entrust responsiblity worthy of an adult, to respect as with regards to important decisions, time management and life skills, to cherish and forgive our daily and numerous shortcomings, to let us walk on our own feet and not cage us up, to heal and comfort in times of sickness, whether physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually, and not reproach, in times of health, whether physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually, and not condemn, to love till death and beyond, till the end of time?

Do you, O teenage one, promise to love and care for your parent, regardless of age, gender, time spent together, emotional attachment, and relationship breakdowns, to buy that favourite hainanese chicken rice or changi village nasi lemak, when your parent requests you to, to take up the challenge to do the housework as and when the need arises, to try your utmost best to maintain the communication chain between you and your parent, regardless of love, time or space, to honor and cherish every of their word as if it were their last words, despite how healthy they glow physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally, to treat them with patience when it comes to sharing with them the gift of technology, to honor and respect, their decisions, their wisdom, their knowledge, their frequent walks down memory lanes, to control when they seem to be getting on your nerves and they display such insensitivity towards your feelings, to love and forgive till death and beyond, till the end of time?

DO YOU?

Oh, and the mother and her daughter? They happened to alight at the same stop at me. The girl was barely fourteen, the mother barely fourty.